Ah, so now we get to the real question. In short. YES. Your playing, and YOU are worthy, Jill. I know this kind of thinking because that voice lingers in my head all the time. I suffer depression. And it was really helpful to be understood. Years ago I talked to a really good counselor who listened to me spill my guts and my tears and my negative, defeated fears calmly, attentively and then simply replied, “It seems you’ve set these high standards for yourself and found you can’t meet them.” It was like he turned on the lights. My sadness and insecurity could be largely resolved by changing the way I was thinking. If I couldn’t meet these standards, what was the worst that could happen? In your case, perhaps it’s not depression but I do think it’s a little insecurity when you ask if your playing is worthy of a Kowalski. I’m here to tell you that is the wrong question, grasshopper. You are a precious being on a noble journey. What possible flaw in you makes you unworthy of the best possible equipment to succeed? If you question your worthiness, then you have only one thing to do. Decide that you are. Then, you ARE. No one can decide THAT but you.