Ha Ha! Mariko! That is a great story! I wanted to tell you a LOT of my students over the years think they don’t have the music memorized. But I can see, as they play, with the music in front of them, their eyes often go completely off the page. Their eyes look at me, at their hands, around the room, but if I then say “OK now without the music”, they look at me and smile nervously as if I have asked an incredible question. Then they start and every time they realize they know the music. Sometimes there are stopping points at which I sing what they need to hear, then, they continue on. This shows them what they have not internalized yet and they are always surprised they had it memorized!
I’m happy that you said you feel you know the music more now, especially the structure of the music. I like to think of the music as a map. It shows you the way to your destination. The first time you play, you need to refer to the map. As you memorize, you become more familiar and need it less and less. Imagine driving to a place for the first time. You look at the map nearly the entire way. If you drive to that place every day, you begin to know the route, infact, even detours if necessary. You refer to the map less. Eventually you never look at the map. You already know the way.
Now you can notice other things along the way besides the map which really is limited in information. You notice changes in the neighborhood. People walking around. New buildings and businesses. You really don’t even pay attention to the road except on occasion. In music without the map you notice other things too. Your mind envisions the structure, like you said. You are free to listen to the tone and intonation more. You can watch the bow. I congratulate you for your discovery! You have made great gains this week!
Here is your next piece!