That is so interesting. If you’d like to describe your level of playing, I can give you some suggestions on literature. Try to think more analytically, as if the piece is a puzzle you are putting together. Keep your mind focused on the physical tasks of playing, of learning the notes, of creating tones and less about overall melody and harmonic movements that pull at the heart strings. I use the Suzuki Books. I also want to say, I have depression and fully understand how some things can be triggers for negative reactions. I’ve never had that happen to me in music that I’m playing myself, only music I’m passively listening to. I’d be happy to learn more about your experience. Maybe I can help.